A few days ago, there was a story on the Yahoo home page asking how families can manage if they do not live near their relatives.  My first thought was "you're kidding--  right?"  My second thought was of people I knew a long time ago--  and how there was a huge difference between necessity and personal choices.

The people I thought of were two married couples;  each couple had one child.  What the two little children had in common was they were both essentially 'raised' by everybody except their own parents--  relatives, friends, babysitters, daycare.  What the couples had in common was neither was in the position where two incomes were essential, and neither limited out-of-home childcare to parents' working hours.  When the parents were not working, they were engaging in their own extensive social lives. 

More recently, there has been story after story on a local news site about mothers or fathers who left their babies and toddlers alone in parked cars in bar parking lots, while they "went drinking."  In my opinion, the only difference between these news stories and the aforementioned couples was at least the former ensured their kids' safety;  in my opinion, both are examples of irresponsibility. 

Back to the Yahoo story, and my surprise at reading it in the headlines.  When my oldest child was little, we lived on the opposite side of the country from my relatives.  Most of my friends and neighbors were also single mothers;  like myself, they generally took their children everywhere they went.  In rare instances, such as a doctor's appointment, there were trusted neighbors who would look after someone else's children for a couple of hours.  One of the many things I loved about that particular environment was giving someone else responsibility for one's kids so one could "go do their own thing" was not done.  I know younger parents today who have this same viewpoint. 

In this particular environment, however, parents are told the exact opposite--  that they should have various priorities, with children being on the lowest rung of their priorities.  It is not a matter of "personal choice" when every available outside influence pressures parents into believing that putting their kids first is wrong.